1000 Words
by Cranky Snapey
Summary: A short-ish fic of the song "1000 Words" by Kumi Koda. Lucius's POV. His thoughts about when Severus leaves him to fight in the war against the Dark Lord. Slashy goodness. Please RR. I suck at summaries...


Disclaimer: I don't NOT own Lucius, or Severus. Or the song 1000 Words. So don't hurt me!!!   
  
Author's Note: Okay, this is about the fifth or sixth time I've did this. Anyway, I'm really just posting this here  
  
because I need feedback. It's been edited (Thanks my wonderful editor!), so yeah, I need feedback, because  
  
this story isn't perfect. it must be at least somewhat perfect!! Baaah! *coughs* Anyway, please review and tell me what you think!   
  
But please be gentle. Oh! And this was put in my NotePad thingy, since I don't have Microsoft Words anymore. *sad* Anywho! I apologize if you can't tell the song and flashback apart from the story.So, If you review, I'll give you a cookie. *smiles*  
  
******  
  
Lucius turned away as Severus walked to the door, not daring to try to stop him. 'He lied to you, Lucius. Let him go.' He thought to himself. But it was hard, knowing Severus was leaving him, to go to battle for the opposite side of the war.   
  
I know that you lied to me  
  
Using just your words to shatter me  
  
Your words are like a dream  
  
But dreams could never fool me  
  
It's not right to me  
  
I'm acting so distant now  
  
Turned my back as you walked away  
  
But I was listening  
  
That you fight your battles far from me  
  
It's not right to me  
  
The conversation still burned in his mind.  
  
"Don't you worry 'cause I come back"  
  
I could hear you speaking as  
  
You walked to battle  
  
I acted strong  
  
To hide the pain when I  
  
Turned back the pages  
  
Crying out a windy answer  
  
What if I shed my tears and  
  
Begged you not to leave?  
  
FLASHBACK:  
  
"I'm sorry Lucius, but I can't stay." Severus said, not daring to look in Lucius's eyes.  
  
"Why?" Lucius asked, trying to keep the slight hurt feeling from his voice.   
  
"I haven't been completely honest with you. You all think I'm still loyal to...Him. But, I'm not loyal any longer. I've...switched sides. I'm loyal to Dumbledore. I know you'll go and tell your Lord right after this conversation, but I can't find myself to lie to you anymore, Lucius. " Severus didn't look into Lucius's eyes, being too afraid of what he would see in them.   
  
"I...I...Why did you do this to me...To us?" Lucius stammered, then mentally kicked himself for doing so.   
  
" I don't belong here. Not here. In the dark. I belong with those who fight in the light. Don't you see? We are on different sides now.. We always were, even though once I thought a belonged in the dark...with you...." Lucius didn't know what to do, or say. If it was anyone else, he would have sneered and said some dreadful things. Possibly, most likely, kill them on the spot. But it was different with Severus, his love. He looked at Severus, who still wouldn't look him in the eye.   
  
"Don't worry, love, you'll soon come back to us." was all Lucius said, with a slight smirk. Severus finally looked him in the eye, and shook his head.   
  
"I'm afraid not. I'm not sorry either. Not for betraying the Dark Lord." Severus assured him.   
  
Lucius heard him whisper "Don't you worry, 'cause I'll come back." and for a moment he thought he meant back to the Dark Side. But he knew better, because he knew once Severus made up his mind, he didn't change it. When he asked what he meant, he said he'll be back, but only to fight against the Dark Lord, to fight this war, to help bring Him down. Lucius wanted to beg him not to leave, but wouldn't dare it. It wouldn't be something Lucius Malfoy would do, even if he so badly wanted to.   
  
Lucius knew what he had to do. He let Severus leave. Let him walk out of his life. He got his mask off the floor, and stared down at it. There was so much he wanted to say to Severus, before he left. And not all of it was dreadful. All he really wanted to do was hold Severus close again. Of course, he would never admit such a thing.  
  
Those thousand words  
  
Have never been spoken  
  
So far away  
  
I'm sending them to you wherever you are  
  
Suspended on shiny wings  
  
Those thousand words  
  
Have never been spoken  
  
They'll treasure you  
  
Make you no longer dare seem  
  
So far away  
  
And hold you forever  
  
In his heart, he had a thousand words to say to Severus ,maybe more, but spoken they were not. It was un-Malfoy like, and he would not ruin his reputation over a love. Severus was so far away from him now, and even if he did speak those thousand words, that wouldn't change. He knew even thinking those words would make it harder to let Severus go, since those words involved his feelings, and his feelings were this: he loved him. He loved Severus Snape, even if he did betray the Dark Lord, the Death Eaters, him...he couldn't think the words, let alone run after Severus and say them. But he wanted to. Wanted to run after him, and say them all. He wanted to cry, and scream, and run after Severus and hold him tightly. But he wouldn't....he couldn't...  
  
That dream isn't over yet  
  
I pretend and say, "I can't forget"  
  
I still live in my day  
  
You've been there with me all the way  
  
It's not right of me  
  
He wants to believe it's not over yet. That's there's still hope .That Severus would come back, saying he made a wrong chose. He turned around to find Severus already gone. He knew, deep in his heart, it was the end. But he couldn't forget what they had...  
  
"I can't forget." He says to open air. It was true. He can't forget, what it felt like to be in his arms. He knows this is a lie to, that he very well could forget, if he forced himself to. But, deep down he knows he doesn't want to.  
  
"Don't you worry 'cause I'll write to you"  
  
I could see you speaking as  
  
You looked away  
  
I acted strong  
  
To hide the love when I  
  
Turned back the pages  
  
Anger might've been the answer  
  
But if I shook my head and said  
  
That I can't wait  
  
he said he would write, but Lucius didn't really know if he could handle that. Plus, he knew he wouldn't. When he was around others he acted strong. He didn't show his feelings. But when he was alone it was all different. When Severus wrote him, he would go into a different room, and smile while reading the letter. He never told anyone of the happiness he felt when he was with Severus, or just reading his writing. He didn't even tell Severus. Their love was never all that tender.   
  
Now that he thinks back to the conversation they had, maybe anger would have been the answer. Or even crying, though Lucius would never bring himself to that. But if he would have gotten angry, or cried, and maybe accidently let something slip, it would show his weakness for Severus. Even now, he believes he showed a bit of weakness. But...maybe he should have said those thousand words before he left. Probably even before this whole mess started...  
  
Lucius took one last look at the door, then put on his Death Eater mask. He walked out to join his Master's side. To find...against the one he loves.   
  
******   
  
Yeah, it sucked. But, well, I'm a first time writer. So, I hope you liked it, at least a little. The song is by Kumi Koda, and is called 1000 Words. So, please review and tell me what you think. But please, be gentle. 


End file.
